Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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