thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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