I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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