i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
