It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
