i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
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