They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
