dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
