She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
