Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
