Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
