Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
