I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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