i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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