I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize