she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How external is "for external use only"?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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