His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
