Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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