using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
where are you?
Hypothermia
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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