Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
