I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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