I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
