It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
