Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
