they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
