So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
