Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
