The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
