loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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