Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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