I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
