She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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