i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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