Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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