Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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