you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ketchup is God's man juice
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize