Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
