I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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