I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
