I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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