It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
