I have demons in me.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
