i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
