ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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