Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
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Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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