Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
