wanna go halves on a baby?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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