I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
