That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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