Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
