i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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