I feel like abortions should bother me more
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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