where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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