i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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