people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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