My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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