One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
