I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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