he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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