I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
