You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
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This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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