Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
