But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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