the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
