I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
