he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
