are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
