How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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