my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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